when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Randomize
