that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize