Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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