I think scott just propositioned me for sex
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
