This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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