PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
