I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
