I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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