One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize