Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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