i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
