when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
