Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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