Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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