you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
