hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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