Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
