remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
worst night to have a conscience
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
