that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
