You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
