...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
