Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry DizzyDawgFizzle hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken

Fav 20 882 3697
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.

Fav 11 5504 828
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.

Fav 51 1547 11869
share tweet
(818): View more from California

I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.

Fav 59 6425 1627
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.

Fav 7 3669 1392
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.

Fav 21 6078 1643
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex

Fav 22 1446 5700
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?

Fav 9 1049 463
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude

Fav 0 28 49
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT