let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
