Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
