Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
