So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
