Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
