I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize