he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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