She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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