I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
