im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize