you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
