I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
