Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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