Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
