He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
