this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
