He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My penis needs a shock collar
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
