come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
