We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
