I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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