why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
