Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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