How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
