Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize