I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I AM VODKA MAN
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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