Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
