I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
areolas are like halos for boobs.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
