I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
