he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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