ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
