They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
