The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
