I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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