we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
