Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
