im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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