life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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