Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
