It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
