Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
don't judge my taste in strippers
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
