you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I need to align my fucking chakras
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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