The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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