I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
