I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
