4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize