this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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