haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
