belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
