Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
